A mama wrote to me, and her message began the way so many do: “I just want to feel like me again, but I can’t wear anything cute because I need easy access.” The mamas who wrote to me about modest dress said a version of that with one more layer on it: everything they are shown as nursing-friendly is sleeveless, low-cut or clingy, and everything modest they own goes over the head. It can feel like you have to choose between covering well and feeding easily. You do not.

This guide is what I learned from those conversations and from the pieces that worked for them: nursing abayas and how to choose one, hijab-friendly tops that open without exposing anything, the shirt dress and the wrap as the modest nursing workhorses, the fabrics that breathe under full coverage, and how to buy so the dress still fits at six months. I write from my own experience of feeding three babies and from theirs of doing it in hijab; where it is theirs, I say so.

What makes an abaya nursing-friendly

Three things, and the first is the opening. An open-front abaya worn over a long dress or a tunic and trousers opens the whole way, so the feed happens in the layer underneath and the abaya stays as the cover. A closed abaya needs a front zip or a hidden placket to work; if it has neither, it is a beautiful thing for after the feeding year.

The second is room. A loose cut through the body and the sleeve is both the modesty and the function: it fits at six weeks and at six months, and it lets you bring the baby under the layer without pulling at anything. The third is the fabric, which has its own section below. Black is classic and hides a mark; the mamas I spoke to also loved a deep olive, navy and a warm camel, which are kinder near a tired face.

Hijab-friendly tops that open without exposing

The trick for a top worn with hijab is that the opening has to be low enough for the baby and high enough that nothing above the collarbone changes. Three shapes do this well. A long button-down shirt or tunic opened three buttons from the top over a clip-down nursing tank, with the hijab draped over the opening as the cover. A long wrap top or wrap tunic that unties at the side. And a loose high-neck top long enough to lift from the hem over a tank, so the neckline never moves at all.

The hem-lift is the one the mamas I spoke to used most in public: the top lifts from the bottom, the tank covers everything above the baby, the hijab covers the side, and from across the room nothing has happened. Buy the top long, to mid-thigh, so that lifting it does not expose the waist.

The shirt dress and the wrap: the modest nursing workhorses

A long-sleeved maxi shirt dress is almost the whole answer on its own. Every button opens from the top for a feed and from the bottom for walking, the length is the modesty, and a belt or a soft tie fits whatever your middle is doing this month. Over a tank, in a fabric that does not cling, it is the dress for the family lunch, Eid and the Tuesday.

A long wrap dress worn over a tank and a long slip does the same with a tie instead of buttons. Choose a deep wrap that overlaps well so it does not gape when you sit, and a weight of fabric you cannot see through at the window. Ten nursing-friendly outfits from one wrap dress shows how far one goes.

From the capsules

The Year Round Capsule

Two hundred nursing-friendly outfits from fifty-six pieces, fifty for every season, laid out and then worn. $29 once, yours to keep.

See the capsule →

Fabrics that breathe under full coverage

Covering well and feeding is warm work, so the fabric matters more than it does for anyone else. Cotton and cotton blends breathe, wash at forty and survive a year of milk. Rayon and viscose drape beautifully and feel cool, but they crease and some are sheer, so they want a slip. Georgette is light and elegant and nearly always needs a layer under it. Linen is the summer answer and looks right creased. Denim is for the open-front abaya worn as a coat in the cold months, not for the layer against your skin.

Whatever the fabric, hold it to the light before you buy. If you can see your hand through it, you will need a slip, and a slip under full coverage in July is a decision you make once.

Layering so the feed happens underneath

The system that worked for the mamas I spoke to is the same one that works for me, with one extra layer: a clip tank against the skin, a top or dress that opens or lifts over it, and the abaya, long cardigan or hijab as the outer cover. The feed happens in the middle layer. The outer layer never has to come off, and the inner layer keeps everything covered that should be.

For the first weeks, the Soft Landing Capsule is the soft version of this, and nursing-friendly loungewear for the first weeks is the free list.

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How to shop so it fits at six months too

Buy in the size you are this month, not the one you remember. Look for a tie, a drawstring or an elastic back rather than a fixed waist. Check the opening with one hand before you check anything else: can you undo it while holding something? Check the length in the mirror sitting down, because that is how you will feed in it. And buy the ordinary open shape over the branded nursing version whenever you can, because the shirt dress is still a dress when the feeding ends and the nursing abaya with the hidden zip is not.

The modest-fashion shops online are now full of pieces that work for this without ever saying the word nursing: long shirt dresses, wrap maxis, open abayas, long tunics with plackets. Search for the shape, not the label.

The mamas who wrote to me were tired of being told that nursing-friendly meant sleeveless. It means a way in, and a way in can be a button, a tie, a hem or an open front, under as much coverage as you choose. Nothing about dressing modestly has to be given up to feed a baby, and nothing about feeding a baby has to be given up to dress modestly. Three layers, the feed in the middle, and you are still entirely yourself.

Every shape in this guide is one of the ordinary pieces in the Year Round Capsule, where the shirt dress, the long cardigan and the wrap appear in dozens of the two hundred outfits, laid out and then worn, with three pictures of you in them on the house. If a dress you own might or might not open well, Will it feed tells you from a photo, free. And if you would rather someone who knows your closet, and the coverage you choose, picked for you each morning, that is Anah inside the Atelier.

Covered, open, and yours. The focus is on you, mama.